Victor Martinez gave me a heart attack… and tested my parenting skills

When I drove home to South Pasadena tonight, I was listening to the Red Sox on my beloved XM Radio. And it was clear that this was going to be yet another “dead from the neck up” night for the Red Sox offense.

Kevin Millwood was all but begging the Red Sox to get a big hit off of him… and they wouldn’t oblige.

And Jon Lester who let up an early homer was going to be a tough luck loser.

So I came home and had dinner with my wife, my kids and my wife’s friend was is staying over with HER two kids.

So now there are 4 kids in our home… one 9 year old, my two 4 year olds and a 1 year old.

We have dinner, take a walk… and check my phone and the Red Sox are still losing in the 9th. I am preparing my Sully Baseball entry in my head where I talk about how this is gut check time.

We get home and the kids are getting antsy and clearly need a bath, get their PJs on and have stories… and all of those are MY jobs.

The kids play with their toys for a minute as I see the Red Sox are rallying, so I flip on in time to see a mind bogglingly confusing play.

Literally I clicked on the view and I saw the Rangers left fielder jumping up. I couldn’t see if he caught it or not. The scoreboard said 4-3 Rangers and there were two Red Sox players rounding third.

Wow… maybe the Red Sox were going to take the lead. Who was the skinny Red Sox player rounding third?

Please tell me Ellsbury.
Or at least Green.

I heard the announcer say Buchholz.

Buchholz? CLAY Buchholz? Does he even know how to run the bases?

Evidently not!

He was smoked at the plate.

Still confused by what the hell was going on (did the guy catch it? Why were there two guys rounding third? Why in the name of Dave Roberts was Clay Buchholz running?) I saw the score was now 4-4.

I guess someone scored earlier… yeah it is too bad to see the go ahead run shot down but at least the score was tied… RIGHT?

Some dope at the Rangers TV network jumped the gun and gave the Sox the score.

So now I didn’t even know what the score was.

It was still 4-3 Rangers… the Red Sox 1 out from losing and falling behind in the Wild Card race and two strikes quickly on Victor Martinez.

And I heard my wife saying “Shirts off pants off… time for baths.” So I was in full “Come on Victor… get me a big hit so I can give my kids a bath!”
So naturally he kept fouling off pitch… 
After pitch…
And I could see I had to turn the game off at any second to give my kids a bath.
I started thinking “Oh please misbehave!” A quick “I’m NOT talking a bath” could sneak an extra few minutes here.
Finally my children were marching up the stairs naked to their bath and Martinez fouled one more off.
There was no avoiding it… but I couldn’t think “Oh just make an out and end this game.”
Karmically I couldn’t root for a loss just so I can give my kids a guilt free bath.
Finally V-Mart (what an awful nickname) delivered a 2 run double down the line… giving me hope for the Red Sox… keeping the Sox in the playoff hunt… and most importantly allowing me to give my kids a good solid bath.

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