Orioles fans… here are 4 easy steps to making 2010 positive for you

Listen up Orioles fans. I know this year hasn’t been fun for you, but you can make it worth your while if you follow these very simple steps from your pal Sully.

STEP 1. ATTEND A GAME AT CAMDEN YARDS THIS SEASON

From the looks of the clips, good seats are available.

STEP 2. GET A PICTURE OF YOURSELF AT THE STADIUM.

Preferably with the scoreboard and a player’s face on the JumboTron in the background (I will explain why later.) Keep it stored in your phone.

STEP 3. PUT THE TICKET STUB IN YOUR WALLET AFTER THE GAME.

Don’t throw it out with old receipts either. Keep it in there. You’ll need it later.

STEP 4. MEMORIZE THE STARTING LINEUP OF THE GAME YOU SAW.

It’s only 10 names you need to commit to memory. 9 hitters and a pitcher. If you need a rhyme to help you remember them, fine. But you need to be able to rattle the 10 names off like it is second hand.

OK, why did I just make you all do that? It’s quite simple.

The Orioles stink this year. It could be a historic level of suckage. Even with last night’s win, they are on pace to go 45-117, making them potentially one of the worst teams in the history of the 162 game schedule era.

But someday the Orioles will be good again. I know it is hard to believe, especially with Angelos running the team into the ground… but someday they will be a pennant contender.

It won’t be 2010… and it probably won’t be 2011. But it doesn’t matter if it is in 2 years or 15 years… it will happen.

And when it does happen, as a good Orioles fan, you will be thrilled.

And you’ll notice getting a seat at Camden Yards will be harder to get.

And you’ll see a lot of fans wearing pink Orioles hats.

There will be an obnoxious new song or rallying cry for the Orioles like “We’re going to TWEET you” or some garbage like that.

And you’ll see that a lot of the fans won’t know the difference between Eddie Murray and Eddie Money.

Yeah it will be fun seeing Camden Yards rocking again, but you’ll be among the bandwagon jumpers!

They would be like the bandwagon jumper Red Sox fans with no memory of Mike Torrez possibly being a double agent for the Yankees in the early 1980s.

Or having no memory of the offense depending on the big bats of Bob Zupcic, Scott Cooper, Phil Plantier and Tim Naehring.

Or the Yankee fans who didn’t suffer through the turmoil of the 1980s and the disastrous early 1990s when the Yankees sloshed through the Mel Hall/Lee Guetterman/Hensley Bam Bam Meulens/Kevin Maas years.

But when the Yankees starting winning World Series again, I saw my Yankee friends saying things like “I stuck with them when they had Lee Guetterman and Steve Howe in their pitching staff!”

And I called those Yankee fans the other day to express my condolences for the death of Oscar Azocar.

And when my Red Sox started winning, I remember Julius Sharpe, Andrew Donnelly and myself rattling off all the obscure Red Sox players from our youth (from Mike O’Berry to Tom Poquette.)

Which brings us back to you Orioles fans.

Now is the time to establish your fandom cred.

You’ve done my 4 steps (including keeping the ticket stub in your wallet and memorizing the starting lineup.) So when you are in the crowded Camden Yards and chatting with someone you suspect is a fair weather fan, ask them “were you here in 2010 when the O’s were awful?”

Chances are they’ll hem and haw. Then say “I’ve stood by them this whole time.”

That’s when you pull out the ticket stub. They see that yes indeed you were there.
You show them the picture of you with the scoreboard in the background.

That’s when you rattle of the lineup.

“Oh man, the Orioles SUCKED back then. They had Corey Patterson, Miguel Tejada, Nick Markakis, Luis Montanez, Luke Scott, Adam Jones, Scott Moore, Julio Lugo, Craig Tatum… Kevin Millwood pitching… and I was there.”

And if the guy you are talking to goes blank on those names, then you know they haven’t paid their dues.

And if they DO, then you have found a fellow fan who has earned the right to yell for the Birds.

Trust me, the thrill of a title is even sweeter when you can show your loyalty in the dark times.

Now is the dark times, Orioles fans. (The Orioles are losing AS I TYPE THIS.)

But do my 4 steps NOW. It will make the inevitable championship season even better.

An open letter to Ozzie Guillen

Hey Ozzie. It’s your pal Sully here.

You need to RELAX a little. Not too much… but people are already writing that you may have worn out your welcome in Chicago, and we can’t have that happen.

I know there are a lot of people in baseball who are NOT Ozzie Guillen fans and think you are a disgrace to baseball.

I am not one of them.

I am a big Ozzie Guillen fan. I think you are great for the game. Yes we need to stoic classy manager types like Joe Torre, Mike Scioscia and Terry Francona.

We need the crotchety old men who will bark at an umpire to death like Bobby Cox and Jim Leyland.

We need the cerebral managers like Ron Gardenhire and Joe Maddon.

We need the former players who manage on instinct like Bruce Bochy and Dusty Baker.

And yes, we need the managers who very well might be insane.

That’s where you fit in… even more than your crosstown rival Lou Piniella, who is bonkers as well.

It’s nice having a totally unpredictable, attention grabbing, unorthodox manager whose character defines the team.

But you need to tone it down… at least to the point where you and Kenny Williams are no longer trying to fight each other!

Ease up on the Twitters and tell your son to do the same.

Have the colorful quotes and push your players hard… but have SOME self preservation.

Think about the amazing legacy you can leave behind in Chicago.
You lead the White Sox to the only World Series title the city has seen in the past 93 years.

But it was more than just a World Series title… it was something very unique.

Your White Sox were the best team of the regular 2005 season and went 11-1 in the post season… a mark achieved only by the 1999 Yankees in the 3 tiered playoff system. And THAT team had future Hall of Famers like Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera and pending steroid backlash, Roger Clemens. Not to mention stars like Bernie Williams, Paul O’Neill, David Cone, Andy Pettitte et al.

Who were the Hall of Famers on the 2005 team?
Frank Thomas?
Yeah he was on the team but only played 34 games and none after July 20th. He wasn’t on the playoff roster.

But the rest of the team was filled with good players but nobody who would even crack the top 5 in the MVP vote nor get any first place votes for the Cy Young Award.

This was a manager’s championship.

Assuming that the likes of Paul Konerko or Scott Podsednik don’t make it to the Hall of Fame, the 2005 World Series title has a very significant uniqueness to it.

Almost every single World Series winner from the 1903 Boston Pilgrims to last year’s Yankees has featured either a Hall of Fame player or a sure fire Hall of Fame player for some of the more recent ones.

The exceptions…

The 1981 and 1988 Los Angeles Dodgers, who had a Hall of Fame manager in Tommy Lasorda.

The 1984 Detroit Tigers, who had a Hall of Fame manager in Sparky Anderson.

The 1997 Florida Marlins (assuming Gary Sheffield DOESN’T make the Hall of Fame) who had a potential Hall of Fame manager in Jim Leyland.

The 2002 Anaheim Angels whose manager, Mike Scioscia, is building quite a resume.

The 2008 Philadelphia Phillies, where it is too early to determine the Cooperstown prospects for Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins and evidently Jamie Moyer.

That’s 7 World Series out of 105 where there was no Hall of Fame prescience in the active line up or rotation… which means 7 extra ordinary managerial displays.

Including YOU Ozzie.

Now I am not saying you are a Hall of Famer… But you have the World Series and another Division Title on your resume in your seven years managing the White Sox. Win another pennant and some more division titles and maybe you’ll get some consideration.

Plus by the time the White Sox have put another pennant contender they will have almost an entirely different team from 2005… so Ozzie could have a two distinct White Sox pennant contenders, a la Lasorda in 1981 and 1988 with the Dodgers.

Maybe the Hall of Fame right now is a reach, but take a look at the outfield wall in U.S. Cellular Field.

They honor White Sox legends out there. Nellie Fox, Luke Appling, Minnie Minoso, Luis Aparcio, Carlton Fisk, Ted Lyons and Billy Pierce are all immortalized and none of THEM delivered a World Series title.

Heck you might even get a statue… and have it in that choking position.

You can have a permanent place of adoration in the city of Chicago.

Just don’t self destruct. Don’t have what happened to Billy Martin happen to you. He could have been the Yankee manager for life… or the A’s manager for life for that matter. But he let his demons get the best of him at each turn.

And yes, even with a World Series title you can go unemployed for a long time. Don’t believe me? Ask Cito Gaston.

So seriously… be intense and be Ozzie.
You can be one of the great figures in White Sox history!

Just don’t go out as a joke.

Your pal,

Sully

Up is down… Black is white… The Mets are contending

Here is a series of possible and not improbable events that could happen tomorrow.

Mets rookie Jonathon Niese, coming off a 1 hit shut out in his last start, beats the Indians, one of the worst teams in the American League.

Tampa Bay and the Yankees, the teams with the best records in baseball, win their respective games against Atlanta and Philadelphia.

What would happen if that not exactly outlandish collection of results come true?

The Mets would be alone in First Place in mid June.
And the Phillies would be only 1 game over .500.

I still don’t understand how this is happening. And call me crazy, but I’m still not buying the Mets nor would I sell the Phillies.

But holy cow! It’s not April anymore… It’s not May. We’re a month from the All Star break and the team that I compared to a car wreck and two girls one cup has a punchers chance of being in first place in July.

I’ve been screaming for this team to dismantle. I kind of still think they should.

But then there are the group of imposters wearing Phillies uniforms who can’t even win on Roy Halladay’ starts anymore.

The one team I thought for sure was going to the playoffs, the Phils, are barely holding their nose above break even while the Mets and the Padres, two teams that I thought had no chance, are in the thick of it.

I have no clue how the Mets are doing it which is why I still think they’ll collapse and the Phillies when the dust all settles, will be playing in October.

Then again I thought Tampa was going to fold in 2008.

The world is upside down.