The Hagerstown Suns are incompetent

Nearly a month ago, I wrote about the Hagerstown Suns.
It was the only time I ever wrote about the Hagerstown Suns.
Why did I write about the Hagerstown Suns?
Why would anyone write about the Hagerstown Suns unless they lived in Hagerstown or had a friend or relative on the Suns?

It was about Bryce Harper… the single biggest star to ever arrive in Hagerstown. As I said earlier, there have clearly been big stars who have played for the Suns, including Hall of Famer Jim Palmer, but who has entered the season with this much hype and anticipation.

And the website had no place to buy merchandise.
Just an e mail address and a phone number to stop on by. Um, you have a potential superstar playing for you and you might want to think about moving some merchandise.

So now he is actually playing for the Suns. For just the second time in recent memory, the Suns are mentioned in national media coverage.

They must have a place to get a hat and jersey for their much heralded star NOW, right?

Of course not.
Just the same lazy “Write us an e mail or give us a call” page.

There’s only one more time that the Suns will be in the National Media this year… when Harper LEAVES!

Maybe then they’ll try to make a few bucks.

Hey look at that! A WIN!

The strangest thing about the win today was that John Lackey got the W… and he was DREADFUL.

Meanwhile Yankees starter Phil Hughes was grotesque and Boone Logan was simply awful.

Tub of Goo Bartolo Colon had the best pitching performance of the day. Going 4 1/3 innings, letting up 2 hits and striking out 5.

NATURALLY Colon got the loss!

I think I speak for Red Sox fans when I say “I’LL TAKE IT!”

Let’s gleefully update the tally.

DODGED BULLET GAMES – 1

April 8 – 9-6 win against the Yankees. (The Sox end their 6 game losing streak with a slugfest. John Lackey stinks but Phil Hughes stinks even more.)

TEETH GRINDER GAMES – 3

April 1 – 9-5 loss in Texas. (The Sox tie Opening Day in the 8th with an Ortiz homer only to have Bard implode and the Sox let up 4 in the bottom of the 8th.)

April 5 – 3-1 loss in Cleveland. (The Sox drop their 4th straight as the bats are dead in Cleveland.)
April 7 – 1-0 loss in Cleveland. (Sox blow a great Lester performance on a squeeze bunt and Darnell McDonald overrunning the bag to end the game.)

Look at that. -2.
Not too shabby.

Before you know it the Sox will be back to .500.

And their offense might be getting back into a groove.

Who knows? Maybe the Red Sox are like Fast Eddie Felson in The Color of Money.
And (spoiler alert) maybe the Sox can mirror the last line of the movie!

MANNY RAMIREZ RETIRES!

Well it looks like Manny Ramirez used some fertility pills again.
Evidently he was going to be asked to take part in some drug program for baseball and he said “Check please!”

So he quit.
Manny was Manny to the end.

He retired after 5 games with Tampa.

He hit his final home run last September 17th against Max Scherzer.
He was a member of the White Sox.

Now let the Hall of Fame debate begin.

Thanks for the memories Manny… good and bad. Baseball was a little more insane with you playing.