2015 New Years Resolutions for Each team

Karl Merton Ferron/Baltimore Sun/MCT/Getty Images

Karl Merton Ferron/Baltimore Sun/MCT/Getty Images

Time for a new year and a chance for me to suggest New Year’s Resolutions for each team.

  1. Diamondbacks. Resolve to stop doing dumb things. With LaRussa running things and Chip Hale  managing, I thought they would stop being stupid. But after dealing Wade Miley because he didn’t want to be gluten free? Even if that was a myth, people will believe it because the D’Backs are ALWAYS doing something stupid. Don’t be that team.
  2. Atlanta Braves. Bring back every beloved Atlanta player to Turner Field. Before they move to the Burbs, there needs to be a moment for every player. From Maddux and Glavine and Murphy to Francisco Cabrera, Rowland Office and Sid Bream, each needs to wave good bye to Atlanta.
  3. Baltimore Orioles. Seriously consider firing Buck Showalter. The team is primed to get to the World Series… just like Showalter’s teams in New York, Arizona and Texas. All those teams made it AFTER he was canned. I know this will hurt, but the parade will be worth it. (Hey, I was right about the smiling bird hat.)
  4. Boston Red Sox. Retire Wade Boggs number. It is nonsense that I have to keep lobbying for this. Was there a dispute between Boggs and the front office? That was a whole ownership ago. #45 will be retired for Pedro. Have #26 up there as well.
  5. Chicago Cubs. LOWER expectations. This team nearly lost 90 games last year. I know Joe Maddon coming to Chicago is exciting. So was Leo Durocher, Dallas Green and Lou Piniella. (And Dusty who got them closer to the World Series than anyone.) Try to under promise and overdeliver.
  6. Chicago White Sox. RAISE expectations. Seriously. You are a big market team. Act like it! You have a great rotation and Jose Abreu is one of the most exciting players in the game. This is a vulnerable AL Central. Show a little swagger. Hell, your manager Robin Ventura once tried to beat up Nolan Ryan. You are on the South Side! Be tough!
  7. Cincinnati Reds. Resolve to tell us what the hell you are doing! You trade veteran pitching for youth, then you trade a young pitcher for Marlon Byrd? Is there a plan?
  8. Cleveland Indians. Retire Satchel Paige’s number. He should have his uniform honored somewhere. Why not where he made his big league debut? As for the team, just stay focused and win. Get that title before the Browns and Cavs do (which doesn’t look like it will be this year.)
  9. Colorado Rockies. Resolve you will find a dumb team to use as a trade partner. It will probably be the Mets but they need to find the team that will take Tulowitzki’s contract and maybe even Carlos Gonzalez’s. Your future is relying on finding a team dumber than you.
  10. Detroit Tigers. Go totally and borderline recklessly all in. I’m talking a Braveheart like charge. Get veterans. Acquire every reliever you can. A World Series title would make the Tigers the AL team of the decade and the window of opportunity is now months and not years.
  11. Houston Astros. Sign your number one draft pick. Seriously. The whole point of sucking is to sign the big player in the draft. Whatever money it will cost will be less than signing a free agent. This is WHY you gutted the team in 2012!!
  12. Kansas City Royals. Do NOT blow this good will. Seriously, the fans are back for the first time in decades. They love this group. Sign at least ONE to a long term deal. The place would go balliastic.
  13. California Angels. (Which is what I call them.) Forget October. Seriously, pull an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and erase it. 2014 was a success save for the playoffs. This is a team that could and should win it all. And if they DO with Mike Trout, they will be one of the marquee teams in baseball. See the love Bumgarner got this off season? That could be Trout. The window is now.
  14. Los Angeles Dodgers. Examine your relationship with Don Mattingly. You’ve changed virtually everything except the manager spot, who is left over from the McCourt ownership. This is his 5th year. Do you really want him driving the car?
  15. Miami Marlins. Do not rebuild. Seriously Loria. I know you like to break the team down, but you are going to have to either keep the expensive team together or sell the damn team. You spent nearly a 1/3 of a billion dollars to keep Giancarlo. You can’t break this up, no matter what the Blue Jays offer you.
  16. Milwaukee Brewers. Resolve to NOT care what people think of you. People hate Carlos Gomez? People think Ryan Braun is a punk? Good. Be the bad guy! And win a lot of games. The Brewers can be the bad boys of baseball. Own that role.
  17. Minnesota Twins. Stop wanting Joe Mauer to be something that he is not. Granted his numbers dipped last year. But up until last year, he was a consistent batting title contender with good on base and doubles power. He isn’t a home run hitter and he isn’t a catcher any more. He is a home grown local boy solid hitter who is a Twin for life. And he is STILL a better pick than Mark Prior. Stop wanting him to be a MVP slugging catcher. That player doesn’t exist anymore.
  18. New York Mets. Ask yourself is Terry Collins REALLY the man to lead this team. If the Mets are healthy, they can be contenders and maybe take the attention of the city away from the Yankees. Collins is the manager despite not distinguishing himself. I’m not saying fire him. But similar to the Dodgers, ask if he is who should be the captain of the ship, driving the bus, pulling the rickshaw or whatever vehicle metaphor is applicable.
  19. New York Yankees. Say out loud “WE ARE NOT CONTENDING!” Why not? Chances are they won’t. Chances are they are rebuilding. And this way if they DO contend, they look like overachievers. But stop the whole “Anything less than a championship is unacceptable” nonsense. This is NOT the 1998 team.
  20. Oakland Athletics. Let us know when you are done making trades. Hell, the team that exploded in the second half of the 2012 season with young exciting players is now dismantled. I have no clue what the team is right now. I can’t even do a projection because of all the moves. They had 7 All stars last year and 5 are gone. So Billy Beane, let us know when you are putting the dynamite away.
  21. Philadelphia Phillies. Oddly, resolve to keep doing what you are doing. They finally admitted that they need to rebuild. Granted they should have done that LAST year but hey, like someone saying they are going to quit smoking THIS year, it is better late than never. The Rollins and Byrd deals were smart. Could this be the redemption of Ruben Amaro?
  22. Pittsburgh Pirates. Figure out Pedro Alvarez. Is he the third baseman? Is he great? Does he suck? No time to be emotional here. The Pirates have a shot at 3 straight playoff berths. But if Alvarez can’t do the job, cut bait, fill the hole and win a Wild Card.
  23. San Diego Padres. Don’t stop trading. Seriously, they obviously didn’t like the team and can’t stop making deals. I want constant turn over. I want them to have 100 players play a game for them this year. I want a trade to be done in mid game so someone plays for the Padres at the beginning of the game and comes up as a pinch hitter against them at the end.
  24. San Francisco Giants. Hire a hypnotist that will convince the players that it is 2016. The team wins every other year, so if they think it is 2016, they can win back to back titles.
  25. Seattle Mariners. Fill any and all holes right away. You have another Hall of Fame superstar in Felix Hernandez and still no pennant to show for it. The AL pennant is winnable. Don’t let a hole not get fixed for more than a day.
  26. St Louis Cardinals. Forget having a closer. There are a lot of talented pitchers in the bullpen. Handing the ball to the same one every 9th is a luxury when you have a Rivera, Eckersley or Keith Foulke circa 2004. You don’t. So mix and match based on the situation and forget the tyranny of the save. You are the smartest team in baseball. Be smarter.
  27. Tampa Bay Rays. Remind all of baseball that Ben Zobrist plays second base. Seriously, every other team seems to need a second baseman now. They have one and are in full rebuilding mode. They can get quite a haul for him. Watch them contend this year anyway.
  28. Texas Rangers. Blow it up. Seriously. Blow it all up. Darvish, Beltre, etc. This team isn’t going to do squat. Start the rebuilding now! Then again, remember I picked the Rangers to win the AL pennant last year, so watch them win it THIS year.
  29. Toronto Blue Jays. Remember that everything has come together to win the AL East. The Red Sox and Rays and Yankees are retooling and the Orioles are injury prone. Make every single move with the mentality of “We may never have this situation again!” No cost cutting or prospects. The perfect storm in Toronto is NOW.
  30. Washington Nationals. Exhale. Seriously. This team probably should have won 2 of the last 3 pennants. Instead they have had 2 jaw dropping horrible post season disasters. Stay the course and in October get that hypnotist the Giants hired and convince the team the playoffs are just regular season games.

FYI, I covered these on this episode of The Sully Baseball Daily Podcast.

Sully Baseball Daily Podcast – January 1, 2014


Happy New Year!

@sullybaseball Congrats on 800. I can't wait for the annual "resolutionsfor each team" episode

— Bill Stroup (@BillStroup) January 1, 2015

Ok then. Time to list every team’s resolution.

It is the first 2015 episode of The Sully Baseball Daily Podcast.

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