Sully Baseball Presents The “No Not THAT One” All Time Roster

There’s a great scene in Office Space where David Herman’s character, whose name is Michael Bolton, explains why he won’t go by “Mike” instead of “Michael.”

“Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.”

Alas that character was stuck with a name that everyone today associates with someone else.
And some baseball players are stuck with that same fate.

Some played before their namesake became famous… but not everyone.
(Hey parents of of Howard Johnson and Milton Bradley. REALLY? You didn’t know that name was taken?)

So here is another Sully Baseball 25 Man Roster… this one filled completely with players who are namesakes of another famous person.

As always there are 8 starting position players, 10 pitchers, a top pinch hitter, a reserve catcher, 2 reserve infielders and 2 reserve outfielders and a 25th man who could play any position.

So let’s get going (says the guy whose name is the same as a Chicago Tribune Chicago White Sox writer.)

The “No Not THAT One” All Time Roster

STARTING CATCHER
JOHN EDWARDS

All Star Catcher for the Reds, Cardinals and Astros – 1961-1974

NOT the disgraced former Vice Presidential nominee.

STARTING FIRST BASEMAN
GEORGE SCOTT
Boomer, the slugging Boston first baseman with the different colored gloves
NOT the Oscar winning star of Patton.

STARTING SECOND BASEMAN
MIKE TYSON

Starting second baseman for the Cardinals and Cubs – 1972-1981
NOT the ear biting, Hangover appearing ex Heavyweight Champ

STARTING SHORTSTOP
BILL RUSSELL
The All Star and champion shortstop for the Didgers from 1969-1986
NOT the legendary Celtic center who is, say it with me…
THE GREATEST CHAMPION IN AMERICAN SPORTS HISTORY! (Nobody is close.)

STARTING THIRD BASEMAN
HOWARD JOHNSONThe All Star switch hitting third baseman for the Mets
NOT the guy from Massachusetts who founded the Hotel and Restaurant Chain

STARTING LEFT FIELDER
GEORGE BURNS

Star slugger for the 1921 World Champion Giants.
NOT the Oscar winning comic genius.

STARTING CENTER FIELDER
BRETT BUTLER
The dynamic leadoff hitter for the Giants and Dodgers who beat cancer
NOT the star of Grace Under Fire

STARTING RIGHT FIELDER
MILTON BRADLEY

The sometimes great but always troubled outfielder.
NOT the board game manufacturer.

ROTATION

KENNY ROGERS
The former All Star whose career had amazing peaks and staggering valleys
NOT the country music star known as “The Gambler.”

MIKE MOORE
The A’s #2 starter for the 1989 World Champions
NOT the outspoken director of Roger and Me and Fahrenheit 9-11

PHIL COLLINS
Fidgety Phil, a former 16 game winner for the Philadelphia Phillies
NOT the creative genius behind Sussudio.

BILL GRAHAM

The right handed pitcher for the 1966 Tigers and 1967 Mets
NOT the Rock Concert promoter nor the evangelical preacher

TED KENNEDY

The starting pitcher from the 1880s
NOT the late Lion of the Senate.

BULLPEN

BRIAN WILSON
The out of his mind nuts closer for the World Champion Giants
NOT the out of his mind nuts genius behind the Beach Boys

MICHAEL JACKSON
The effective reliever for the Giants and Indians
NOT the Late King of Pop

MIKE MYERS
The lefty specialist for the 2004 World Champion Red Sox
NOT the star of Wayne’s World, Austin Powers and Shrek

FLASH GORDON
The ace closer for the Red Sox who inspired a Stephen King book.
NOT the savior of the Universe.

JOHNNY RUTHERFORD
The Lefthander for the 1952 NL Champion Brooklyn Dodgers
NOT the Three Time Indy 500 Champion known as Lone Star JR

BENCH

TOP PINCH HITTER
JIM MORRISON
The hard hitting utility player for the Pirates and Tigers in the 1980s.
NOT the Lizard King.

RESERVE INFIELDER
JIMMY STEWART
The utility infielder for several teams including the 1970 NL Champion Reds
NOT the beloved Oscar winning legend

RESERVE INFIELDER
DON JOHNSONThe former All Star second baseman for the 1945 NL Champion Cubs
NOT Crockett from Miami Vice.

RESERVE OUTFIELDER
TERRY BRADSHAW

The reserve outfielder for the 1995 and 1996 Cardinals
NOT the great Steelers Quarterback and Fox Sports lunatic
(who is great in The Cannonball Run)

RESERVE OUTFIELDER
EDDIE MURPHY
“Honest Eddie” who did NOT take money from gamblers as a member of the 1919 White Sox
NOT Axel Foley

RESERVE CATCHER
CARLOS SANTANA

The Indians superstar catcher of the future.
NOT the rock legend and singer of songs like “Oye Como Va.”

25th MAN
EVAN LONGORIA

The superstar Tampa Bay third baseman who evidently can’t afford to buy a new cap.
NOT the unbelievably sexy star of Desperate Housewives.

His name is close enough to Eva’s to be included here. And let’s face it, having Eva’s picture on this post will get a few more hits on a Google search.

Now I am NOT going to sink to the point where I would write Sexy Nude Pics of Eva Longoria on this page just to increase traffic.

Nor for Evan Longoria.

Felix Hernandez’s win total is reason FOR his Cy Young Candidacy

I’ve been making the case for Felix Hernandez to win the Cy Young Award for about a month now and I have been alone.

Yes he leads the league in a lot of statistics that I don’t completely understand…

Win Probability Added… Situational Wins… Base Out Wins Saved… Adjusted Pitching Wins… I am still learning how to quantify them. But King Felix leads all of those categories, which is impressive.

But this isn’t just twisting some obscure numbers to make a point (a la the greatness of Colby Rasmus.)

He also leads the league in all sorts of categories that traditional voters drool over.

ERA? He’s the best.
Strikeouts? He’s the best.
Games started? He’s the best.
Innings pitched? He’s the best.

Not to mention being third in complete games and having the third lowest Walks and Hits per nine inning ratio.

Sounds like a Cy Young front runner to me!

But then people bring up his win total.
“Can we REALLY have a Cy Young winner who only has 12 wins?”

And my response to that is simple.
12 wins? Are you kidding me? He should win the Cy Young BECAUSE he got 12 wins with this God Awful Mariners team!

Now I don’t consider wins to be a worthless stat (that IS the objective of the pitcher… to win the game) but it can also be an amazingly misleading stat.

Mitch Williams blew the lead in two beautiful pitched games by Curt Schilling in the 1993 NLCS… and Williams got the win for both games. A casual glance would see Williams having a 2-0 record in the series and Schilling’s record being 0-0 and Williams would look like the dominating pitcher.

Harvey Haddix threw 12 perfect innings in a game in 1959, let up a run in the 13th and got the loss. I am going to go out on a limb and say he pitched well enough to get the win in that game.

So Sabathia and the other front runners (David Price, Clay Buchholz, Jon Lester) all play for teams that will win 90 some odd games.

Hernandez’s team has ALREADY lost 91 games.
They have only 56 wins all season.

12 by Hernandez.
Yup, that means there have been only 44 wins by the Mariners that WEREN’T Felix Hernandez.

And guess what? He plays for a team that said “We have a solution for the #4 hole! MILTON BRADLEY!”

While Sabathia’s team and Price’s team flip flop for the title “Best Team in Baseball” Hernandez has to go out each night and say “I hope Franklin Gutierrez and Michael Saunders can drive in a few runs and David Aardsma can hold the lead.”

12 wins?
That’s only 7 fewer than Sabathia, who has a team that can bring Lance Berkman and Curtis Granderson off the bench in some games. And has Rivera closing games.

That’s only 6 fewer than Price who has the likes of Crawford, Longoria and Pena driving in runs and Soriano closing games.

12 wins is a REMARKABLE total when you look at the hand he was dealt!

Here’s something to think about…
Hernandez’s 12 wins represents roughly 21% of the Mariners wins for the year.

What would be 21% of the Yankees’ 89 wins so far?

19 wins… the same total that Sabathia has.

So Hernandez IS winning at the same clip as CC Sabathia… he just has a worse supporting cast.

Cy Young inspite of 12 wins?
Try BECAUSE of 12 wins.

The Bradley for Silva trade seems to be working for the Cubs

The Mariners and Cubs swapped expensive headaches in the off season when Milton Bradley and Carlos Silva traded uniforms.

Milton Bradley is seeking psychiatric help and Carlos Silva won again tonight pitching into the 7th inning.

It’s a pretty easy trade to evaluate now.
Silva is 4-0 with a respectable 3.40 ERA and is averaging more than 6 innings a start.
Bradley is waiting for Robin Williams to tell him it is not his fault.